To love versus the idea of love.

We are all searching for love and somewhere along the way we find ourselves in relationships and we say we are in love. We feel good in the  beginning but as time passes by, we find ourselves start complaining about the other person as they no longer fit us. It start with simple arguments like you are so selfish, you do not even think about me.

From there it goes down a spiral of daily complaints and no matter what the other person may be doing, there is always some faults to be found and some blame. What we will fail to realize is perhaps we are the one at fault. Accepting to be wrong is a great deal for us humans as we like to think of ourselves as flawless. Yes we are in a way flawless but when it comes to love, it is much more than flaws.

Before getting involved with someone we already have expectations on how we want that other one to be. At first, it is very easy to fit those shoes of our imaginations but as time goes by, those shoes will become bigger for them to fit in and it will be either too tight or too loose. No one wants to wear uncomfortable shoes by the way.

So what we do we say that this person has changed and that is why things are not working.Truth is the person hasn’t changed at all, they have always been the same but simply it was easier to try to fit in at first. The killer is nothing but those expectations of ours which leave no room for acceptance or understanding, nor room for growth. In these tight spaces with specific guidelines and requirements we fell in love with the idea in our mind rather than with the person in front of us.

This is the buzz killer of most relationships nowadays, we run into love as we are going shopping for objects and we forget that love is feeling and the subject is living and that there are traits to their own character and persona.

They key here is to give room to breathe, to let time pass, to let us get to know each other , to not have expectations and then to decide if we can call it love or not.

Do not fall in love but rather lean into it and embrace the person and his or her personality with all his or her traits then decide whether it is worth it or not. That way we have a better change at loving.

 

 

Advertisements

Lost in yourself.

Have you ever felt like you are stuck somewhere but yet you cannot identify the place? Everything around you is gloomy and faded. Life has lost it’s essence and all is just dark. Even in the brightest and clearest sky, all you can see is dark grey clouds. Despite this melancholy, you try your best to stay afloat and yet it is barely enough to catch a breath. Every single time you try to inhale, your nose is blocked and you choke. Every time you open your eyes, there is this darkness that blind you.

Yet you keep trying to figure out where you are so that you can find your way out. You hear that voice telling you that everything is alright but when you look around all you see is despair.Now you are even more lost in this unknown place because of the confusion. How can all be well when you do not feel well? Your bloated stomach from your lost of appetite. You are thirty but don’t feel like drinking. Living has seem to become a task which requires so much effort.

You keep wondering what you have done wrong to have reached this state.How did you manage to reach this point? So many questions that keep adding to the list of unanswered ones.”Where am i? ” you constantly ask.

There you are trapped in a body, lost in yourself. You have lost control and you are a passenger in your own car. Looks like it is on autopilot but you can see that if that keep going in the same direction, you will crash and you are just unable to take control back. Stuck in the passenger seat, hypnotized by all this sadness that has crawled its way into your deepest core, you feel like a lost cause as all your cries for help have remained unanswered.

Photo Source: Google.

 

The law of negativity.

The concept of law of negativity is pretty simple and straightforward. It is such a powerful law that once we step into it we get swallowed deeper within and if we do not recognize the pattern we may not be able to get out of it. It will drain you and pull you down the spiral of misery.

You may have already experienced it, once you start having negative thoughts,more will keep coming  as if they are  breeding in your mind. Likewise if you have a problem and focus on the problem, there seem to be no way out but if instead you try to find a solution, things somehow work itself out. So to say, negative thinking only breeds negative thinking and negative actions.

Nothing good has and ever will come out of negativity because negativity will absorb everything around it if allowed to. Therefore, in order to deal with it we must definitely start at the root, that is through our thoughts, once you get a negative thought,you should imperatively shift to something pleasant even if it’s not related to the subject you are dealing with. That way you stop the proliferation of the negative energy towards you.

Eventually, from that perspective there will be a change in the chemistry of your brain and quality of thoughts will rise. You will start feeling less miserable and once you feel better, you see clearer.Long story short, my point is to be aware of your thoughts and whenever you realize that you are being drifted into some negative vibes, you simply have to break the pattern.

It sounds easy but it is not so easy, don’t beat yourself about it, you need practice to master it. So get started today by paying attention to your thoughts. They say Rome was not built in one day, i will tell you that a beautiful mind is not build with just one thought. Start now and embellish your mind i can guarantee you that you will enjoy the results.

Much love, peace and blessings to you.

With Respect,

L.A

Andyology book available on Amazon Andyology Book

 

Image source and credits to Google